Henry Arneson's Life Well-Lived
My dad died today. It was not unexpected.
Just six days shy of his 97th birthday, Henry (Hank) Arneson took his last breath in a peaceful hospice room, holding the hand of a kind nurse named Jessie who talked him through to the other side. He hadn’t spoken in a few days but was still aware behind the fade. Jessie told us it was easy, fast and without any suffering or struggle. I am so grateful, and have chosen not to regret not being with him at the very end. As long as he wasn’t alone.
I’ve spent so many hours with him these last weeks, and months, that I’m certain I filled up my bank for future withdrawals of those moments. While watching him decline into dementia in the last few years, and complicated health problems since February of this year, I got to see both the incredible cruelty of aging and disease, and the precious sweetness of a trusting and grateful soul in my dad.
In my head, I’ve written my dad’s obituary and practiced his eulogy. The rest of my family has chosen to mourn privately, so rather than let those words deflate, they need a place to park for the future.
Arneson, Henry Orvin, Age 96, United States Navy, Ret. Excelsior, MN
Born November 5, 1922 in Sand Creek, WI. Died October 30, 2019 in Edina, MN.
Survived by loving wife of 72 years, Dolores Ann Arneson (Flavin). Son Jim (Carrie) Arneson of Madison, WI and grandchildren Tommy, Katie and Bobby Arneson; Daughter Jill (Karl) Holter of Minnetonka, MN, grandchildren James, Asher, Carlton, Elsa, Sally, Wesley. Preceded in death by parents Henry and Carolyn Arneson, sister Lorraine Tietzen and brother Carleton Arneson. Also survived by nieces, nephews and great niece-and-nephews.
As a young child, Henry and his siblings and parents moved to Minneapolis where he attended and graduated from South High School, class of 1940. He attended the University of Minnesota where he earned a degree in Civil Engineering. From there, he served his country in the United States Navy as an officer and engineer “Seabee.” He covered a lot of territory in the South Pacific and returned home at the end of the war. He then attended graduate school at the U of MN and earned a Master’s Degree in Civil Engineering. In 1946 he began his career at International Milling (Later International Multifoods) and traveled the world many times over designing and overseeing the building of grain mills and food processing plants. He retired from that job with that company after 45 successful years.
In 1947, he married the love of his life, Dolores.
Henry was devoted to his family and spent countless hours coaching little league, attending swim meets and tennis matches and delighted in watching his kids excel at their many sports. He put a strong emphasis on academics, encouraging his kids to pursue their dreams and do their best. “Over Study” was his mantra.
With his wife Dolores, they enjoyed playing golf and tennis together and with their friends, and eventually settled in their retirement home in Bonita Springs, FL, where they could continue their love of warm weather and long fairways. Hank played thousands of rounds of golf and had two holes-in-one in his lifetime.
Hank was a smart, stubborn, kind, hard-working and funny man who loved a good joke, perfectly smoked ribs, ice cream, a cold Coors Light and the love and company of his family and friends. We will miss him greatly because he was a great man. Memorial’s in Henry’s name can be made to https://www.lssmn.org/get-involved/donate/memorials-and-tributes