And Just Like This . . .

It’s school’s out eve 2021, my beloved offspring, and since this year is different than all other years, it’s time for another mom-address.  Think of it as a commencement speech, but shorter and with more swears. I am your mother after all.

 What a year, right? Last summer was defined by ugly racism in our city and country and neighborhoods and friends and even some relatives. I’m proud of the way you all showed up and stepped up and spoke up, in your own spheres of influence. It’s not easy being a teenager and standing out, but I am amazed at your bravery and steadfastness in believing that Black Lives Really Do Matter and that until they do, the work will not end.

 Covid, man. The stupid virus that should have been stopped long ago greatly affected your back to school in the fall and took away a lot of what should have been so much fun. Sally, you missed a real freshman year, first year of high school experience. Elsa, your senior year – shit, what a mess. No homecoming, no football games, no in-person school for so much of the year. You two girls missed out on all the fun car rides to school, listening to music and complaining about how cheerful your mother is in the morning. I’m glad you got a handful of those days, though. Your sisterhood makes me so very happy.

 Wesley, my man! You closed out the Krantz kid middle school story in style this year! Never mind that you grew 7.5 inches while battling a serious case of 8th grade-itis. You’re done, and no one in our family ever has to walk through the doors of MME again!!!

 So here we are, ready for a different and better summer. Our household rolled up our sleeves and got the jabs and did our civic duty and we’ve earned the right to take off our masks and get back to humanity and smiling. Thank you for doing your part to follow the rules and keep yourselves and others safe. Thank you for believing in science.

 Some lessons you learned and taught me along the way this year will continue to shape and affect me as a mom and adult. Prioritizing your mental health is one of the big ones. Stepping away from the grind and the expectations and trappings of “success” and instead making sure you’re strong and healthy in body, mind, spirit, and soul became a theme song this year. Unraveling trauma. Removing toxic friends and relationships. Repairing some good friendships. Sticking with your people you can trust and count on that support you in the path you’re walking is really damn inspiring. I wish more people my age, especially women, got that.

 Your genuine acceptance of and love and respect for folks of color, queer and non-binary folks, and every single person and expression of beautiful life has continually amazed me. I know you watch out for your classmates and friends, and you’ve learned to take a keen interest in the ramifications of bigotry and racism on a much larger scale. I hope you’ll always walk out, protest, march, and continue to make good trouble.

 Mostly, I want to say thanks for how you continue to support me, your messy and loud and extra and flawed and busy and sometimes horrifying mother. I’m so glad you spoke up last December and told me you needed me, because it was the nudge I also needed to leave a disappointing work situation and rethink what I was doing as well. I loved being home for a few months, supporting you academically and emotionally while you slogged through online school and winter doldrums. In the end, I landed an amazing next job and I know you were all genuinely excited for me. Thank you for seeing how important my career is and for being proud of me, your working mother. I know we’re all better for it, but having you remind me of it is the shit.

 And now off you go! One big brother moved out, one is at boot camp. Elsa is off to Denver in September, and the last two of you will be together at high school. Just WOW.  You’ve got jobs, earning money, saving for cars and college, kicking ass and giving no fucks. Lots of your peers have it easier (mine too, tbh). Big whoop. Your independence and work ethic and maturity are far above most others your (our) age. GO US, right?

 I love you all so very much. I’m super proud of you. Go raise some hell, you’ve earned it. Follow the speed limits, don’t drink and drive, have the backs of your friends, take some time to rest, paint, read, watch Disney movies, and run through the sprinkler. And do your dishes, because remember how much you love Karl, too.

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In Memory of Dolores Arneson, Beloved Wife, Mother and Grandmother

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